the revolving door of post-college plans: an open letter to my academic advisers

Dear Dr. Lupo and Dr. Mooring,

As I continue developing my plans for post-graduation (I've always, as you both well know, been a planner), I feel like I change my plans for what I want to do every seven days. This time I'm not freaking out about it, but I want to give you an update on the places my mind has been wandering and seek your advice as I move forward.

First I was thinking I'd study some kind of Ecology, which I narrowed down to coastal ecosystems. I had wanted to do some more hard science so I could make a claim to have an "expertise" of sorts in a scientific area before moving on. But as I looked at the options available, the kinds of things professors were studying, etc, I realized that science for the sake of science is not as interesting for me as I thought it was. I enjoy it, but I can't see myself focusing in on something specific like a community of clams or a certain marshplant. Then I spoke with recent Poli Sci dept grad Rachel Christensen, who started asking me about my Mexico involvement, and I remembered how much I love the people and organizations and issues I've been involved with at the border. The thought of leaving that world and those communities made me sad, and I began to wonder what I could do that could be a boon to environmental and community organizations around the border, or even at the Tijuana Estuary itself.  I broadened my search a little bit to consider watershed management, which at Univ. Wisc. Madison includes a broader community component, which would lend itself to work at the Tijuana Estuary. This drifted briefly into water resource engineering, which also looked interesting.

But as I was sitting in my "Geography of Transportation Systems" course here in Panama, I couldn't help but take heed of the butterflies in my stomach right before each class. I mean, I am seriously PUMPED whenever this class gets ready to start. As I began channeling these feelings into notes about the kinds of things I am interested, I was reminded of a list I made in Dr. Lupo’s class in choosing a topic for a research paper for our Scope and Methods class. The list was called “things that interest me, politically,” and I came up with public transportation, waste management, environmental justice, education, renewable energy, livable communities. The same list came up again when I was trying to come up with an Honors topic. Writing this list for the third time, I realized that all my interests are united as ways people are engaging to live together in cities and communities, and in the resolution of failures to address these issues. With this new vision of what interests me, I know that if I were to study ecology, I’d want to study urban ecology. But moreso than that, I’m beginning to wonder if urban planning or a similar field might be for me, either as a career path or at least a topic of study.

And so, this brings me to where I am now. I am now wanting to explore urban planning (or other interdisciplinary fields studying cities and sustainability), and I am wondering how I can begin exploring if this would be right for me. Is there anyone you can suggest I talk to explore this possibility? To help me get an idea of what it would take to start in area like this, and what other possibilities are out there? I’m sort of starting over from scratch, while still holding on to a couple of leads from my previous search that sounded interesting.

Thank you very much for your help, and for bearing with me on this perpetually changing landscape called my mind. I hope you both are doing very well. As you might have gathered from the aforementioned butterflies, I am loving my classes here in Panama (all of them! It’s a blast). I have also made a number of friends, but so far most of them are from the States… so it’s a challenge to go out and make Panamanian friends that I need to take up next.

Respectfully,

Daniel Virden

isla grande

This weekend was my first out-of-town adventure.

As part of our program, we took a tour of the Colón area of Panamá, on the Caribbean side of the Isthmus, directly north of Panama City. We ended up visiting Fort Lorenzo (an old Spanish fort from like the 1600's), the Gatún locks of the Panama Canal, and the city (well, town... village, almost) of Portobelo. It was fun, but we spent a LOT of time waiting for the ships to pass at the Canal. Definitely got a feel of what it's like to live near the world's largest multimodal intersection.

At the end of our trip, I decided to go on to Isla Grande, an island further east from Portobelo. I stayed at "El Rey Jackson," a combination hotel-and-mini-mart. It was the cheapest place on the island ($30 for a private room with fan and air conditioning), but I did not feel 100% confident about the cleanliness of the bed or shower. Still, it was private, which was nice, as it meant I could store my stuff safely without a problem. If I stayed again, I would have stayed at the "El Hostal y Pastelería," or something like that, just to the left of the dock I arrived at; it's a little more pricey ($35 for a dorm bed) but seemed a little livelier, with employees who were willing to talk and hang out, and breakfast was included. Ah well.

One person I met was the proprieter of the "Hotel Isla Grande," a large, comparatively luxurious establishment with private lawn and beach of its own. He made a point of helping me get oriented on the island, and let me rent a snorkel mask for only five bucks. A coral garden sat ten meters off the shore (spanning both the public and private half of the beach), with beautifully colored fish darting among the brain and fan coral structures. It was beautiful!

While everything turned out alright, my initial impressions of the island were not great. (I decided the island was much more "Lago de Atitlan" than "Glover's Reef Atoll.") The island is pretty heavily forested on the interior, with several rows of concrete housing at the shore. Most of the paths are more like alleys, with stray dogs wandering every corner. And there was a lot of trash along the shore; at times I passed residents sweeping trash directly into the ocean. The beach itself (a narrow stretch of sand near the Hotel Isla Grande) was clean and pretty, but the "regular" shoreline near people's houses was lightly peppered with garbage. After I got in my morning snorkel, I decided to make my way back to Panama City, and leave Isla Grande behind.

Going home, I was forced to recognize the garbage is not just an Isla Grande problem. All through the ride home I passed various piles of garbage or thin blankets of it along the side of the road, sometimes burning, other times simply persisting. I think to myself, "I want to fix it! I want to change something so that this beautiful country does not suffer from so much trash!" But litter and waste management is such a diffuse problem. Neither public action events (big clean-ups), anti-litter campaigns, or massive infrastructure developments can make a significant difference on their own. If people don't litter, where will they put their trash? And where will it go from there? And why is there so much single-use and disposable materials anyway in this country if there's nowhere to put it?

Which brings me back home to the states, where we still face litter, and problems with waste management, or even more dramatically with waste water and nuclear waste. Waste management is such a crazy problem, and I don't even know where to begin to change it. But I don't believe it is "just cultural"--this is a combination of major human challenges that we will need to face over the coming years. How can we generate less waste? What will we do with the waste we produce? And who will make these decisions?

With these questions weighing heavy on my mind, I returned home by way of Albrook mall, where I ordered a pizza (in a box that was thrown away) breadsticks (on a paper plate, wrapped in foil, with a plastic cup full of sauce), and a cinna-bon (on a paper plate, with a plastic fork) (and also a pack of individually-wrapped granola bars). Such  a stark contrast, reminding me that I, myself, am part of the problem. By weight I still generated more waste than the glass coke bottle I brought home with me to recycle. So for now, at least, I resign myself to continue as a cog in the machine, disupting none of waste-machine whose wheels I turn.

la economía de gracias

Esta mañana fui a la Iglesia del Nazareno en Ancón. Por este servicio, hicimos algo especial: cada persona leyó un versículo que fuera importante en su vida. Eramos veinte personas, más o menos (es una iglesia pequeña), y por eso todos podrían compartir. No preparé por este, y por eso compartí Filipenses 4:13. Es corto pero es muy fuerte, y me ayude leerlo a veces.

Después, la pastora le dio a cada persona dos pastillas (dulces), y dijo <<Coma uno de estas pastillas, y la otra va a dar a alguien en la iglesia que le ha edificado a usted.>> Entonces, cada persona, uno después del otro, levantó y compartió a quien le darían su pastilla y por qué. Era muy emocional, y cinco o seis personas lloraron compartiendo como Dios ha sido en su vida por la persona. Y yo también lloré poquito por las historias que compartieron.

Me algré de oír las historias de la iglesia, de ver como la gente ayude y ama como Dios. Algunos personas recibieron muchos dulces, porque han hecho muchas cosas importantes en la vida de su iglesia. A ver su pequeña fortuna de dulces, era un símbolo de sus vidas de servicio. Y algunas, cuando era tiempo para dar gracias a alguien, le dieron dulces a tres o más personas, algo que solo podrían hacer porque tan mucha gente ha compartido con ellas. Esa economía, una de gracias y amor, era un imagen de la reina de Dios en su pueblo, aquí en la tierra. Gracias a Dios por todo lo que hace, y por las personas que trae en nuestras vidas. Amen.


~

This morning I went to the Church of the Nazarene in Anvon. For this service, we did something special: each person read a verse that was important in their life. There were twenty of us, more or less (it is a small church), so everone was able to share. I didn't prepare, so I just shared Phillipians 4:13. It's short but powerful, and it helps me to re-read sometimes.

Then, the pastor gave everyone two candies, saying "Eat one of these, and the other you're going to give to someone in the church that has edified you/encouraged you." So, one after another, each person rose and shared whom they were giving their candy and why. It was very emotional, and five or six people cried sharing how God had been in their life through the person. I even cried a little, hearing the stories they shared.

I was very happy to hear the stories of the church, to see how people helped and loved one another as God would like them to. Some people received many candies, because they had done many important things for others in the church. Looking at their small fortune of candies, it was a symbol of their life of service. An some of them, when it was their turn to give thanks and give away a candy, gave candy to three or more people, something they could only do because so many people had shared with them. This economy of thanks and love, is an image of the Kingdom of God in his people, here on Earth. Thanks be to God for all that he does, and for the people he brings into our lives. Amen.

Mi Biblia, y la pastilla que recibí por amigo Scott en la Iglesia del Nazareno en Ancón.

bienvenidos a Panamá

I have now arrived and begun to settle in Panamá.

The first day here was orientation, meeting the other students studying abroad with ISA (pronounced, as "ee-sa," by our program director Vanessa), and learning how to take a taxi (flag 'em down, ask the price for where you're headed, only hop in if it's a reasonable price). We also checked out Albrook Mall, the main mall (at least in our area).

My homestay is awesome. I live with my Señora, Mama Cachi (Casilda, or just Mami), and her son Ciro (a graphic designer, about eight years older than I am). Ciro's cousin Anita also lives with us (and another cousin is in and out). I share a room with another student, Raphael. The family also hosts a tourist's hotel on the first floor of the house, where travelers come and go.

Mama Cachi speaks only Spanish, but is very patient and happy to speak to us. She makes breakfast and dinner for us every day, and talks with us for as long as we like. Ciro speaks English and Spanish, but understands that we are trying to learn Spanish, and is very supportive, correcting us and speaking to us in Spanish as much as we speak to him in Spanish. He gives advice on how to make the most of our time in Panamá, and last night he took us out on the town and showed us places to hang out in Casco Viejo (Old Town Panamá City).

Today, seis of us went to la playa at Veracruz. We had a lot of fun! Raphael and I climbed on top of an island full of trees--it looked exactly like the lion-turtle island in Avatar: The Last Airbender! It was awesome.

Now it's late, and the neighbors are having a party. Looks like a lot of fun, but I am beat and ready to rest! But that'll have to wait until things quiet down a bit more.

transitions

I am now readying to embarking on the biggest part of my time away from Loma: study abroad in Panama City. But before I get there I want to take a minute to reflect on my summer in Washington, which has now been over for more than a week. The summer has been wonderful. I determined from the start I would make the most of my summer, and with help from my new friends, I feel as though I did. This summer, I climbed mountains, laid on beaches, and wandered cities (and towns). I met new friends from all over the western US. And I was able to learn a little bit more about myself.

I am a planner. I enjoy making plans, organizing my future and my present (and my past!), and attempting to engage others in plans. One of the greatest gifts my new friends gave to me was telling me they appreciated this about me. Most of us interns did not really know anyone else in Sequim, so it was hard to find things to do. I took on the responsibility, fairly early on, of trying as hard as I could to make things happen, whether trips to the beach or just lunch at work. At times I got a bit carried away, or communications could get a bit hollow (the newsletter mode comes all-too-easily to me), but still at least two of my new friends made a point of mentioning they appreciated my efforts—that they thought this was something good in me.

This recognition was a turning point in the way I think of myself—that my goal of planning to hang out with others to help them and me actually worked for some people, at least sometimes. At this point I could look at myself, and call myself a planner, and take pride in it. Which is kind of funny, because I think the last time I was so deeply affected (positively, anyway) by a person’s opinion of me was when Ryan Womack told me I was pretty mellow (a trait I also take pride in, and which balances out my strong planning tendencies when I let it).

And now, I am moving on to the next stage. I have made plenty of mistakes this summer, but now is a new beginning. New faces, new friends, and (inevitably) new mistakes. I must make sure to learn from the experiences I’ve had, and continue to grow and change. Off to Panama City! ¡Hasta luego, Estados!

living with animals

Our family was never one to own pets. We had a hamster (2, actually) for a short stretch, but they didn't last very long, and were near the end of my time at home. That is to say, animals were not part of the culture of our home. Accordingly, growing up I didn't have a feel for what it meant to have a pet as "part of the family." It just seemed kind of silly to hold an animal in that regard.

Since leaving for college, I've ended up having a couple of closer encounters with animals, from Hannah's dog and reptiles, to Picchu the cat and her brood, and now the McDougal Dachshunds. Living here with Ferg and Gwen has been a much more intimate interaction with dogs (and pets generally) than ever before, and I can honestly say I'm beginning to understand.

This morning the pup are curled up under my blanket after their morning romp. It was cold this morning, so they came in shivering and begging to be loved. Gwen was actually barking repeatedly until I finally let her into my room and helped her onto my bed. Annoying, but adorable.

It's fascinating to me how intuitive it is to interact with them. Not just telling them "Hey, stop that!" or "No! My food!" but even when they want to be cuddled, it just makes me really happy. And especially when they want to hang out in bed, there is a special, relaxed kind of intimacy. Like having another person there to cuddle with, it is relaxing and comforting to have a puppy lying there asking to be hugged and pet and patted.

To a certain extent, I'm sure the feelings of comfort and understanding can be explained away by personification of the animal, blah, blah, blah, but it doesn't change the emotional reality and significance of the connection. They really are very sweet dogs. And for that I am thankful.

Just reaffirms how much I want to have a pet when I am older. Though, my furball of choice will of course be a cat!

sleepless in seattle

So last Monday one of my coworkers sent out an email saying he would be heading to Seattle for a Mariner's game on the then-coming Saturday or Sunday, inviting anyone who wished to come along. When we met a couple of Seattle interns later that week, they agreed we could come crash at their place, thus making a weekend of the trip.

So, Aaron, Allie, and I made the trek yesterday morning to see the sights of Seattle. Allie has ties to Seattle, so she knew many of the places to see, and was able to show us around. We ran around and saw the troll, the gum wall, and the market, along with generally everything else I intended to see while I was in town.

Photo time:

The quirky toy store, suggested by Emma. You can find anything made out of plastic here: Bacon superherous (with Tofu nemeses), Ben Franklin and Oscar Wilde figurines, and of course your standard-issue rubber chicken.

A standard sight to see at Archie McPhee is the "Wallingford Beast." I have no idea what the deal is with this creepy plastic zombie-spider, except that it's there, in a curtained terrarium, so it must be famous. ...

The Fremont Troll. And a monster made of cement. ...

Here's our stalwart crew! That's Aaron on the left and Allie on the right.

And your fearless hero standing before the Seattle skyline.

The Seattle Library! Weird building. But it waters its plants with rain water! Which is cool. It's also a work of art on the inside.

Original newspaper from 1932. Really cool.

The Red Hall. A hallway that's completely red. Actually the whole 4th story is red like this. The camera kind of brightened the image, it's actually a deeper, darker red. 

Pike Place Market! We saw people throwing fish, tried some fruit, and explored the various stands. We got Piroskies, a Russian pastry, from a little bakery next door to the original Starbucks.

I'd heard that duck tours were a cool way to ride around the city and then get on the lake. I did not realize that they are also filled with Jungle-Cruise-style puns. I groaned for a while, but after a while it grew on me. 

Lastly, a duck tour boat with the "Sleepless in Seattle" boathouse in the background. Haven't seen the movie, but I figure if I do that'll mean something to me at some point.

While I had a lot of fun in Seattle, I was kind of surprised that I didn't feel it even more. For whatever reason, I just didn't feel that falling-in-love feeling I had when I went to Chicago, or that I have when I think of San Diego. I think expectations have something to do with it--Seattle is... Seattle. Like, the Seattle. So the thought of seeing it and loving it was so exciting... that perhaps I was slightly let down? Let down isn't even the right phrase. I just had a very romanticized image, not even an image, just a feeling for what it would be like to go to Seattle. Instead, it just felt like being in a city. It was fun, because I like cities, and because we saw some funny things, but it wasn't the Seattle experience I wanted it to be.

By no means am I giving up on the city. It was still beautiful, and I look forward to seeing it again. It might just be that rushing around sight-seeing took away from the effect. Playing pool with Jess and the others was definitely my favorite part of the adventure, even though that could have happened anywhere (except Sequim--there's not a single table in this town).

For now, it's back to Sunny Sequim and the birds.

Some music for the night:

Goodnight!